18 : MY FORGONE LOVE

Do you find yourselves reminiscing and making wishes? Most probably wondering why a specific thing never occured or regretting why it occured.And maybe hating yourself for the decision you made that has finally changed everything.You can't even share it because you are afraid of people thinking you are a loser,right?But then again you roll your eyes,snap your fingers,curse out loudly and convince yourself that it was bound to happen and life happens all the time anyway.
If life never happened,I would be touring the world,living in some expensive villas,making injeras(my love for injera is on another level) and married to Tesfay,an Eritrean hunk of a guy whom I dated for a while.He was rich in love and had made it clear that he wanted me for a wife.Never hesitated to introduce me to his family.Tey,as I would call him,was appealing in all aspects.He's the only man I know who understood the importance of candlelighted dinners in a woman's life.He used to pick me up every Saturday,go for shopping and everytime we would argue whether to go to movies first or an eatout.We would later pick up some spicy food and drive so far away listening to Arabic music.He would make sure to hold my hand and sing along everytime.
The next time a person tells you nothing last forever,please believe them.Things went South and our love hit the rocks.You wondering what happened?who cheated on who,right?No one,I just couldn't handle the commitments,considering I was so young,I felt the pressure was to much.Getting married and having babies at a young age has never been my thing.I had to set him free and trust me,it never ended so we'll.I broke him so much.
I thought everything would be normal but my life fell apart and my heart been ripped since.I have gone for so many dates but I just can't stand the guys,had a few one-night stands but trust me that didn't work either.I can't stop envying the love birds on the streets and do you know the worst thing?Sad love songs that hit so hard when am alone.Jaden keep insisting that most probably men aren't my type,that I was meant to be a "vaginatarian".How am the only straight person in my circle is still a mystery.I think that's the price I will forever pay for breaking an innocent being.