CHOICES

Am qued in this hospital, sitted on uncomfortable chairs,waiting for my turn.I have been coming here for two weeks now.Yeah,for injections and trust me,they are very painful. I can't even walk for long distances anymore.The only good thing about all this, is am on a sick leave.I now have all the time to Netflix and work on my book. Hey,I hate my job and my bossy boss.
Are doctors even human?I think it takes more than courage to be one.But in my next world,I want to be a doctor. Like it's so nice to see other peoples butt,right?And you know the best thing,you don't have to beg them to strip for you.As I glance around, I notice some patients struggling in pain.others lost in thoughts. One gentleman is stamping his feet while the lady next to him is "candy crushing".Honestly, this game knows no age,like she's in her forties!
Trust me,time travels so slowly in hospitals, such that one wishes to create their time machines. This is the time one notices that their feet have cracked, skin dried,nails chirped, etc.
So there's these set of twins who seem out of control. Full of life,they ran up and down playfully, talking loudly and laughing too much. Their mother who has been watching them for long, walks out of the room and suddenly one child shouts" Mamii unaenda choo"?This is the part where people start exchanging glances and the kid repeats the same question and not even the mother can make him stop.
This innocent question really arouses my fears.
Everyone has fears in life. Different, crazy, unknown, name it.And in as much as they bother us,they are allowed. Well,maybe not,but it's normal. I get scared every time I think about the future and considering my perfectionism fetish,things get a little bit worse.
We all get disturbing thoughts at some point, regardless of our happy, messy or poor life.We all want to have a bunch of healthy, behaved,genius kids and still have nice bodies. Stick to our partners till death do us part and grow old.
But there's always a dirty thought playing mind games with us.What if I fail raising my kids,and they turn out to be thugs and immoral? I may be unable to have kids at all,right? What will happen if I get cheated on, dumped or abused?What about dying young or loosing loved ones?
We never

have all the choices in life.In as much as we control our kids, we can't dictate their future. Praying and guidance is allowed though. We may love people but we can't force them to stay. One day they will hurt us.They will quit fighting for us and leave without an explanation and go for a better person or make a mistake and choose a dumb one.Always remember that you can't live forever,neither will you choose how to die.You can only make wishes. The lucky one's will die in their sleep, peacefully during their old age.While other's will suffer from dementia, be murdered or get knocked by a car while crossing the road.
I want you to take control of your thoughts, body and feelings. There's always a better side in everything. Have something that you believe in, a religion maybe. Avoid hurting people and love your family because they will always have your back. Choose to be happy,positive and live by the present.