ABUSE IS CHOICE.

A strong wind blows making the tall,gnarled trees sway from side to side.This makes me tremble and i immediately shut the windows.Suddenly Carmen walks in holding a tray cointaining a tea pot ,two cups and a biscuit barrel.She looks sad and her eyes are swollen.I take the tray t from her hands and put it on the table then helps her to sit down.Carmen is having issues in her marriage and that's why she requested me to visit.She needs my help so badly.Deep down my heart,there's happiness because she trusts me in this despite our age difference.She's older than me,married for two years and four months pregnant.                                      You need to open up dear,i tell her.She stands up ,goes to the door and locks it.She then serves our tea and sits down.She looks so terrified.''Brenda,i have a cocktail of feelings.We both laugh out loud.She clears her throat and starts her narration.''I feel hollow,torn apart,betrayed,desperate,disrespected and powerless.When did this drama start? i ask.She doesn't answer me direct rather she dips a biscuit in the tea,puts it in the mouth then stares at her wedding photo hanged on the cabinet.''Right after our honeymoon.He bullies me in public,blames me for his problems and never asks for forgiveness when he wrongs me.Sometimes we get into a conversation but it get so heated up and it turns to quarreling.We yell at each other and he storms out of the house leaving me alone for days,Only God knows where he goes.
      Wait,have you tried communicating to him?Communication is the strongest tool in a relationship.What about consulting a marriage counsellor?Tears are now rolling down her cheeks.''My husband is workaholic.He never creates time for me.And when i get a chance to talk to him,he pushes me away.You the first person am opening up to.My parents have no idea what am going through.Have been faking my happiness since i got married''.I hug her tightely.Have you ever thought of leaving him?I ask softly.She pulls herself quickly from my arms,gives me an ugly stare and shouts at me.''Hell no!I dont want my unborn baby to be fatherless''.You kidding me,right?Well,i would rather have a''dozen of fatherless''kids than an abusive husband.Suddenly a sweet aroma grabs my nose and i goes to the direction it coming from.Carmen follows too.Inside her bedroom,i see burning candles,rose oils,mint leaves,different bottle of incenses,rose quartz to name a  few.I realise that she uses different and expensive romantic oils to recover the lost affection from her husband.She goes down her knees and begs me to help in casting a re-uniting spell.If two people are not meant to be together,not even a spell can help.I decide to help her anyway and we cast it sucessfully.I give an assuarance that i will always be there for her and i depart.
       As am leaving her house,am thinking about other women who suffer emotional violence yet never talk about it.You sacrifice your happiness because you want to stick with your abusive husband.Living a pretentious life to please the world.You refuse to call it quit because you afraid to live a lonely life or because you are pregnant and you want somebody to rub your belly.Giving excuses that you have to suffer because of the kids.C'mon ladies.Call me dumb,but i lack patience for such people.Life is short.Live it to the fullest and enjoy it while it last.If you are a victim,get out of that bed,have a makeover and hit the floor.Seek help from a proffessional and if it fails to work,its time you opted out.Never feel sorry for yourself.You have needs also,remember?Besides there are many other men who will value and respect you.Know your worth..........

It's on a cold Saturday afternoon.People are covered in heavy jackets,hoodies,trenchcoats,warm caps,scarfs...name them.Meanwhile,am seated on the last row near a corner in java house,Sarit center mall,enjoying my hot coffee.Trust me,it's frezzing cold.My coffee is almost halfway and am   expecting by the time it finishes,it will have warmed me up.Suddenly,a tall lady walks in.She's rocked in pink heels and a blue cotton dress.There's something about her that attracts the attention.It's not about her dressing nor her height.It's not her beauty either................It's her behind.Damn!She's so blessed,talk of Kim Kardashian.Her waist is so tiny also.                                                                                                                                                                                                                                               She walks to the back,swaying her hips.All eyes on her.She's so generous to let everyone look at her,especially the men and am sure she's happy about it.Did she just leave the front seats?Have no time to think about it because am listening to a conversation of two gentlemen seated near my table.Call it eavesdropping if you want,but the conversation is juicy.It's not a crime to listen,right?They are talking about different body shapes.One is saying that he preffers a curvy woman to a petite one.He's explaining how women starve themselves to acquire a model shaped body not knowing that African men want some''meat''.He's also saying that some women never take care of their bodies after giving birth and that's why they look................I'm not hearing the last word.He swears that he would do anything to change his wife's body.                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                           Questions are bothering my mind.How does his wife look like?Is she petite?Or due to child bearing,she's.........His friend gets an opportunity to talk and tells him that beauty isn't physical at all.But still stares at the curvy lady.So ironic,right?I'm distracted by Nikki's song Anaconda.Oh!it's my phone ringing.No!it cant be.Steph,my girl is calling.She may be my best friend,but in times like this, no one want to be bothered.I take her call and requests her to make it quick for am in a middle of ''something delicate''.She want me to comment on her latest designs going viral in the internet.Well,good for her she's now a celebrated designer.But guess what?The gentlemen have already left.                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                  As am going through the internet,a certain quote draws my attention''TO ALL GIRLS WHO DIE FOR ZERO FIGURE,REMEMBER REAL MEN GO FOR CURVES,ONLY DOGS GO FOR BONES''.Really?I'm so shocked.What with our men anyway?Is this the reason why women are spending all their money on plastic surgeries,creams and bitter pills?See,i have no problem with any body's size despite my phone's ringtone.We have to appreciate ourselves and love that person whom we see on the mirror after looking at it.And it will be cool.Well,if you want to Kardashify yourself,do it the right way.Hit the gym and eat healthily.But never change your body because anyone has a problem with it.As for the men,it's time you stopped to be mean.